VS16498

Published: 70 articles

WORDS

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’

WOMEN’S REVENGE

‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the evilest thing I could do to him legally.

The Mechanic & The Cardiologist

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor
of a LS460 when he spotted a well known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come
and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the
garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
“So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out,
repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in,
and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M,
when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The cardiologist paused, leaned over,
and then whispered to the mechanic…….
“Try doing it with the engine running.”

Bike Ride

 

I went to the bottle shop on Saturday afternoon on my bike trying to get a
bit fitter, bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bike basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bike, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the whiskey before I rode home.
It turned out to be a very good decision,
Because I fell off my bike seven times on the way home.