Daily archives "January 23, 2018"


A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day.
30,000 to a man’s 15,000.
The wife replied, ‘The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’


‘Cash, check or charge?’ I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she replied, ‘but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the evilest thing I could do to him legally.

The Mechanic & The Cardiologist

A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor
of a LS460 when he spotted a well known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come
and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the
garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
“So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out,
repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in,
and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M,
when you and I are doing basically the same work?”
The cardiologist paused, leaned over,
and then whispered to the mechanic…….
“Try doing it with the engine running.”

Bike Ride


I went to the bottle shop on Saturday afternoon on my bike trying to get a
bit fitter, bought a bottle of whiskey and put it in the bike basket.
As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bike, the bottle would break.
So I drank all the whiskey before I rode home.
It turned out to be a very good decision,
Because I fell off my bike seven times on the way home.