Daily archives "February 11, 2019"

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED 5

My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels.

She asked, “What’s on TV?”

I said, “Lots of dust.”

And then the fight started…

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED 4

My wife was at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunk swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, “Do you know him?”

“Yes”, she sighed, he’s my old boyfriend. He began drinking right after we
split up years ago, and hasn’t been sober since.”

“My God!” I said, “Who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?”

And then the fight started…

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED 3

I took my wife to a restaurant.The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the rump steak, rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”

“Nah, she can order for herself.”

And that’s when the fight started…..

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED 2

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, ‘Do you want to have sex?’

‘No,’ she answered.

I then said,’Is that your final answer?’

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying, ‘Yes..’

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started…

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED 1

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift .The next year, I didn’t buy her a gift.When she asked me why, I replied,

“Well, you still haven’t used the gift I bought you last year!”

And that’s how the fight started…..