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Daily archives "April 27, 2015"
“Beary’ True!
Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them.
The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them.
The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on.
The second guys says, “What are you doing? Sneakers won’t help you outrun that bear.”
“I don’t need to outrun the bear,” the first guy says. “I just need to outrun you.”
Unfaithful
A local lawyer was sitting in his office the other morning when in walked a beautiful blonde woman.
Without any preliminaries she declared that she wanted a divorce.
“On what grounds?” asked the lawyer.
“I don’t think he is faithful to me” she replied.
“And what makes you think he isn’t faithful?” asked the lawyer.
“Well for one thing” replied the young lady “I don’t think he’s the father of my child”.
Blindness
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, with a warning from the Mother Superior not to get even a drop of paint on their habits.
After conferring about this, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint naked…
In the middle of the project, there’s a knock at the door.
“Who is it?” calls one of the nuns.
“Blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other and shrug, both deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room.
They open the door.
“Nice boobs,” says the man. “Where do you want the blinds?”