You Can make A Difference!
Daily archives "October 25, 2015"
Anyone In To Rugby?
Q: What’s the difference between England and a teabag?
A: A teabag could stay in the cup for longer.
Reading this heart wrenching joke entitles any fanatical, English rugby supporting, 1-Link members, to PM tokoian (yes, I am the author) any below-the-belt, underhanded joke of similar ilk, if your boys beat us Kiwis in the up and coming League test.
I promise to publish anonymously. But would make it quite clear that I would not degrade our beloved ex-World Champs. The current holder of the cup remains a mystery at this time, due to my debilitating amnesia.
Hmmmm………
A guy and his wife are sitting and watching a boxing match on television. The husband sighs and complains, “This is disappointing. It only lasted for 30 seconds!”
“Good,” replied his wife. “Now you know how I always feel.”
Multi-Marriage
A woman announces to her friend that she is getting married for the fourth time.
“How wonderful! But I hope you don’t mind me asking what happened to your first husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms and died.”
“Oh, how tragic! What about your second husband?”
“He ate poisonous mushrooms too and died.”
“Oh, how terrible! I’m almost afraid to ask you about your third husband.”
“He died of a broken neck.”
“A broken neck?”
“He wouldn’t eat the mushrooms.”
Before Computers
BEFORE COMPUTERS…
An application was for employment,
A program was a TV show,
A cursor used profanity,
A keyboard was a piano!
Memory was something that you lost with age,
A CD was a bank account,
And a floppy disk was something
Terribly wrong in your back.
Compress was something you did to garbage,
Not something you did to a file.
And if you unzipped anything in public,
You’d be in jail for awhile!
Log on was adding wood to a fire,
Hard drive was a long trip on the road.
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And a backup happened to your commode!
Cut – you did with a pocket knife,
Paste – you did with glue.
A web was a spider’s home,
And a virus was the flu!
PS: I’ve no idea what the line italic was supposed to read. Sorry, I’m not intelligent enough to come up with a poem as good as this!
CD……….. bank? I know COD (cash on delivery, not a fish), a cad is other peoples’ friends (not mine), El Cid is a movie, cud a bovine term worth chewing on. Ced is absolutely nothing (except expanded to Co-ed).
The poem does reinforce though just how much language changes with the times.