I’ve scoured the net for the ultimate witty, grimacing & nauseating collection of Christmas jokes.
They are a good reminder however that Christmas is almost upon us. Or, if read after Christmas, that before too long, another one will arrive.
What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A rebel without a Claus.
What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinselitis!
Why is Santa so jolly?
Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office ?
You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Why did Frosty the Snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
RUDEolph.
What’s the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
What is the popular Christmas carol in Desert?
Camel ye Faithful.
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Claustrophobic.
What does Santa bring naughty boys and girls on Christmas Eve?
A pack of batteries with a note saying “toy not included”.
How does a Jew celebrate Christmas?
He installs a parking meter on the roof.
What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad
What nationality is Santa Claus?
North Polish.
Why are women’s breasts like a train set a kid gets at Christmas time ?
Because they were originally made for children but the father wants to play with them.
I hope that this selection of funnies over 2015 have raised a few smiles.
May this Christmas season bring you continued joy, as you celebrate it in
your own special way.
Tokoian