1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from
Holland called Holes?
3. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
4. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn’t it follow
that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged,
models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
5. Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
6. If a convenience store is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365
days a year, why are there locks on the door?
Two younger women and one a senior citizen, were sitting naked in a sauna.
Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The young woman pressed her forearm and
the beep stopped. The others looked at her questioningly. ‘That was my
pager, she said. I have a microchip under the skin of my arm.’
A few minutes later, a phone rang. The second young woman lifted
her palm to her ear. When she finished, she explained, ‘That was my mobile
phone. I have a microchip in my hand.’
The older woman felt very low-tech. Not to be out done, she decided she had
to do something just as impressive. She stepped out of the sauna and went to
the bathroom. She returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from her
rear end. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at her.
The older woman finally said……… ‘Well, will you look at
that… I’m getting a fax!!’
..while his wife waits at home. He promises to be back by five.
Five’o’clock comes and goes and the husband hasn’t come back yet. Gradually, the hours tick by and no sign of the husband. The wife is about to go looking for him when the front door opens and the husband shuffles in.
The wife is worried sick.
“Where have you been? You said you’d be home by five, it’s now eight’o’clock!”
The husband replies with, “I’m sorry I’m late, but my friend Harry had a heart attack today in the middle of golf.”
The wife is shocked.
“Oh dear! That’s awful!”
“I know! All day long it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry..