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The Snore
The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with George, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn’t fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
The first guy roomed with George and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, ‘Man, what happened to you? He said, ‘George snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night. ‘
The next night it was a different guy’s turn. In the morning, same thing – hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot. They said, ‘Man, what happened to you? You look awful!’ He said, ‘Man, that George shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night .’
The third night was Pete’s turn. Pete was a big burly ex-Navy man; a man’s man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright eyed and bushy tailed. ‘ Good morning,’ he said. They couldn’t believe it! They said, ‘Man, what happened?’ He said, ‘Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked George into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.
George sat up and watched me all night.
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Easy Italian Pasta Salad
Easy Italian Pasta Salad
Two boxes of your favorite brown rice pasta
1 Tbsp Olive Oil
1 bottle Wishbone Italian Dressing
1 cup chopped olives
1 package of Italian dry salami, chopped
1/2 pound mozzarella cheese, cut into cubes
1. Boil rice pasta according to package. The key to getting perfect al dente rice pasta is to IMMEDIATELY rinse under COLD water and then put a spoonful of olive (or your favorite) oil and toss well.
2. Add dressing to taste. I use a whole bottle between two boxes of pasta as I like a strong flavor but you can easily add less for a lighter taste. The beauty of this pasta is that you don’t have to add extra seasonings as the dressing is incredibly flavorful.
3. Add the rest of the ingredients, mix well and chill until ready to serve. That’s it!
Loaded Baked Potato Salad
One 5 pound bag medium Russet Potatoes
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup mayonnaise
1 package of bacon, cooked and crumbled
1 small onion, chopped
Chives, to taste
1 1/2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
1. Wash the potatoes and poke holes in them with a fork. Bake at 350 degrees for about an hour or until fork tender.
2. Cool and cut the potatoes into bite sized chunks. I put them in a separate bowl and once they cooled enough I put them in the fridge to cool all the way. This gives them an excellent texture and prevents the dairy ingredients from getting hot or the cheese from melting. If you are serving this salad hot then you don’t need to cool the potatoes, just skip that step!
3. Mix the mayo and sour cream together in a bowl. Add to the potatoes, then add the onions, chives, and cheese. Salt and pepper to taste – I use a pepper grinder and a sea salt grinder for EVERYTHING so I never know exactly how much of either I put in. I think the taste is far superior to just using regular table salt and pepper.
4. Top with extra shredded cheese, bacon, and chives, and serve!
This is a simple and inexpensive side dish for any meal but especially great to take to a barbecue. My favorite part is that this is one of the regular ole recipes that anyone would make without realizing that it happens to be gluten free naturally. Those are my favorite! No special ingredients or expensive grocery stores, just regular food that I can eat along with everybody else.
Birth control for grandma
The doctor that had been seeing an 80-year-old woman for most of her life finally retired. At her next checkup, the new Doctor told her to bring a list of all the medicines that had been prescribed for her.
As the doctor was looking through these, his eyes grew wide as he realized Grandma had a prescription for birth control pills.
“Mrs. Smith, do you realize these are BIRTH CONTROL Pills?
“Yes, they help me sleep at night.”
“Mrs. Smith, I assure you there is absolutely NOTHING in these that that could possibly help you sleep!”
She reached out and patted the young Doctor’s knee….”Yes, dear, I know that. But every morning, I grind one up and mix it in the glass of orange juice that my 16 year old Granddaughter drinks. and believe me, it definitely helps me sleep at night.”
You Can’t Better 100%
